JomairaUninhibited

Politeness became so rare that some people mistook it for flirtation.

(Source: nicosuave, via bad-dominicana)

What Paris Taught Me

So it’s done… I’m back home now, enjoying the company of my family before I head off to New York next week to start my internship. This feeling is… as many predicted… very bittersweet. 

Four and a half months ago, I was boarding a plane from Boston Logan, and I wasn’t feeling very happy. In fact, my first night in that hostel in Paris I called my little sister crying telling her that four months was too long and that I felt stuck, that I wanted to go back. I said “I always do this, put myself in uncomfortable situations like these, why do I do this to myself?” as I tried to contain the tears. Now I know why. 

Paris opened my eyes to new fields of studies and interests. I learned about art history and the theater, things I that always seemed unattainable in my family. I fell in love with north african and middle eastern studies, and especially with the study of the discrimination and oppression that muslims have faced in the past decade.  Through this, I met some of the most intelligent, ambitious, and amazing people I have ever met. Students who took me in, opened their hearts and showed me Paris from their eyes.  I also learned about the power of words and how easily they can rally people up for the wrong cause, which is the case of the immigrant backlash in France right now. 

Surprisingly, I learned more about my country’ history that in my entire life. It was one of the students I encountered who taught me about colonialism and the impact it had on our lands. This, in combination with the boldness of my Globalization professor, I learned about the way in which my country has been oppressed, stripped of it’s resources to help fill consumerism demands. I now know that we don’t even have our own language, the spanish colonizers wiped it out too quickly, and now I feel a desire to go back and help give a little back of what was taken from us, from Quisqueya la bella.

Yes, Paris did also teach me that racism, classism and sexism exist everywhere, and though I’ll never get used to the directness of the french when it comes to that, at least I appreciate their honesty. The country reinforced my need to stand up for myself, and to remind myself that I’ve made it this far through hard work, not luck or government policies meant to help people like me.

Through all of that,however, I found a way to be young again. When my mom died I went from 17 years old to 40 in a matter of minutes. I became an adult faster than I could comprehend her death, and I’ve carried that responsibility on my shoulders ever since. But in Paris it was different. I became a child again because that’s what I was to my host parents. I was a 20 year old who they loved to buy ice cream for, accompany to the train station, and give hugs to and it felt sooo good. It was wonderful to no longer feel like an adult in a household, and to let someone else take care of me for a change. That is probably one of the best lessons I learned there… to let people in and let them help me when I need them. 

In that regard, I also made great friends, people who I was able to share experiences, hopes and fears with. I was for the first time in a long time, unguarded, and willing to open myself to new possibilities and people. That openness allowed to discuss personal, local, and global issues on such a deep level, and my own assumptions were challenged many times. I was also able to enjoy myself and not feel guilty for indulging in a time out, whether that meant a walk in the park, a night dancing, or an extra hour of sleep. 

With that said, by far, my favorite part of Paris is the quality of life there. I felt like I could have time to smell the flowers, instead of overworking myself like I tend to do in the US. I indulged in traveling, sightseeing, museum visiting, long conversations at cafes, happy hours. I felt young, young like I havent felt in almost three years, because my body may have stayed the same, but the mind and emotions I carried made me as old as any 50 year old woman. Paris, however, has given me my youth back and here’s a perfect quote to describe why it’s different than in the US.

                “Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure.Ours is an entertainment seeking-nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one….This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype- the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.” 

-Eat, Pray, Love

Finally, I found another family on the other side of the world. I cannot overemphasize how critical Anne and Jean-Loup were in making my experience wonderful. They opened me the doors to their home and their hearts and I’m not exaggerating when I say that I love them like family. I love them for how well they treated me and for how kind they are. I was truly blessed.

As I was preparing to take the metro to catch the RER to head to airport, they stopped me and said “No! we’re a calling you a taxi”. When Jean-Loup dropped me off he told me “Il y aura un manque dans ma maison” “they’ll be an absence in my house” and when I called Anne this morning to tell her I made it back ok she said “tu nous manques deja” “we miss you already” and that feeling they expressed, is the same I was feeling and I know it very well. It’s that feeling I get when I say goodbye to my family in DR every summer, except now I felt it with my new family. & like I always tell my grandmother, a feeling like that makes you come back, so I’ll be back Paris, for you, for your ability to make me feel young and for the family you gave me. 

“But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one’s life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?” 

Love Liberates

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.’” — Dr. Maya Angelou

Last week living the dream

Hello everyone, the feeling I have right now is so bittersweet. I am incredibly anxious to go home and give my sister a big hug while at the same time it pains me to know I’ll have to say “see you later” to my host parents. 

Last week, I did some more sightseeing, most notably going to Parc de Belleville on Saturday night for a beautiful view of “Paris by night”. It was a much less touristy destination than Montmartre and a view that I wouldn’t have found if it wasn’t for my parisian friend. Even though it was a bit chilly, I had a very good time reminiscing on the first time I saw the Eiffel tower almost 5 months (time really does fly). I wish I would’ve brought my camera to take pictures but you will just have to trust me on this one. On thursday I also had dinner with one of Pim’s friends for the last time, after having been over her house a couple of times over the semester. I shared my frustrations, questions, and excitement of my adjustment with her, and let’s not even talk about how great it feels to have someone I can communicate in english with. The walks to her house were also a great way to get me to experience Montmartre a little bit more.

Saturday was my host sister’s birthday, so it was another busy day for me. I set my alarm for 10am because I’m always the last one to wake up at the house, but I was surprised to find I was the first one up. It was too bad I had already showered because if I would’ve realized it earlier I would have gone straight back to bed. Alia says that either run on 100% meaning I make myself so busy I can barely breathe, or I’m 0% meaning I’m knocked out sleeping in the comfort of my room. I have to say she figured out my life, as much as I like to stay busy I loveeee sleeping,even better than ice cream. For my host sister’s 30th birthday, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles made their way into our Paris apartment. I had already met most of them so it was great to see them again, and to see the house fill up with laughter and conversation. It reminded me of our family parties in DR because my mom comes from a big family. Also, they played some salsa for a little bit! It was so much fun! We had homemade pizza of all different styles and 5 different cakes, needless to say I was stuffed as I always am in Paris. We finished eating lunch at 6pm! & my host mom still asked me at 8pm to come have dinner, I had to decline.

This week exams started, and since I have 8 exams it is no joke. Who knew study abroad actually included studying?? Anyways, after my exam this morning Alia and I headed to le marche des enfants rouges for lunch and then the Chateau de Vincennes just outside of Paris. I finished my day with a great nap (see! told you I love sleeping) and then dinner with my host family. 

My suitcase is almost full, my clothes have been washed, things have been put away and the countdown begins. Paris, however, has my heart, so I’ll make sure to include to leave a piece of it here.

Life is hard, and I’m never given easy cards. I really wish I had an anchor. 

I know I haven’t written in a long time, but that’s because I’ve been having a blast enjoying my last couple of weeks in Paris. Tomorrow will mark exactly two weeks before I leave… time really does fly.

Last week my program had another one of it’s sponsored trips, this time we went to Giverny to visit “le jardin de Monet” and his house. This was another one of those experiences where you take and take pictures but just know that they won’t do it any justice. Although the day was a bit cold and rainy, it was still so impressive and beautiful. As we walked through the garden we could smell the flowers, hear the birds chirping and look at the beautiful colors, it’s no wonder he was so inspired to paint there. After walking through the garden we grabbed lunch at a local cafe and also walked through (extremely small) town. 

After our trip to Giverny, when I came back home on Sunday it was election time! I really love politics because I find them very fascinating, not because I believe that politicians actually bring about change for people like me (that’s another post) but because I’m genuinely interested in how government and elections work. I think I already wrote about how disappointed I was that Marine le Pen, from the far right, got unbelievable amount of support from the french but I’ve come to appreciate at least their honesty. They just say “i don’t like you” rather than smile and pretend they do and then support policies that oppress us. Either way, that part still sucks though.

Election time at my house is very interesting because my host mom and dad vote for different political parties and that made for a very awkward Sunday night. I’ve realized that I try to avoid talking politics with my host family because I don’t believe in disagreeing with adults. It’s weird, because I was raised to always respect adult’s opinions and to never argue with them (I dealt with this by just telling them what they wanted to hear, and then doing whatever I wanted). I only learned to to truly express myself at Bryn Mawr (thank you Pim!) where I learned that my voice and opinion is valued and that’s how I became assertive. The dynamics in host family are very different though, especially with my host brother who has no problem telling his parents off if he doesn’t agree with them. As aware as I find my host parents, they’re still from another generation and there are some things that my host brother works really hard to enlighten them about. My host brother is very very progressive, the only person that I can compare him to is my friend Sarah, who understands racial issues so well. I always find comfort in seeing people acknowledge their privilege because I think it’s so much easier to just ignore it, and Sarah and my host brother really embody this amazing characteristic. (Although I will add that they’re VERYY different, my host brother’s personality is sooo strong, hence me saying that it’s very awkward for me to hear him arguing with his parents, even if he’s right).

Back to the point though, living here has taught me so much about my own upbringing and how different it was. I was telling my friend about how when my dad came to Paris I gave him a bunch of stuff to bring back, including souvenirs that I’d bought people. I specifically told him that some of the soap I gave him were souvenirs I bought in Marseille to give people, and then a few days later I found out he used it. It’s no big deal, but it just shows that to adults in my family, our opinions or words are just irrelevant, we have no voice until we can sustain ourselves and thats it. That is why my life at BMC and at home is so different, because my voice at BMC is so powerful.

Ok so elections, Hollande won. Thank God! But once again, politicians never represent me.

After the elections, I’ve done a lot of going out, dancing latin music and just enjoying Paris. Let’s just say that I can now say I’ve been in a motorcycle in Paris at 4am. I know… i’m too fly.

Chi chi, Alia, and I on the steps of Sacre Coeur at night

I also went to Parc Montsouris which is right by my house but I had never visited.

This is me, just chillin at a park like a Parisian. Oh the good life. 

Today, I also went to the Musee Rodin and the weather was definitely on our side. I’ll put pictures as soon as Alia sends them because it was such a fantastic afternoon.

That’s it for now.